*Weighing The Glasgow Coma Scale*[just for fun]
Glasgow Coma Scale or GCS is a Neurological scale which aims to give a reliable and objective way of recording the conscious state of a person for initial as well as subsequent assessment.
Three criteria are used with scores for different responses assessed by the Doctor or Nurse.
(1) Eyes opening
(2) Verbal Response and
(3) Motor response or EVM response.
A patient is assessed against these criteria of the scale, and the resulting points give a patient score between 3 (indicating deep unconsciousness) and either 14 (original scale) or 15 (the more widely used modified or revised scale). GCS is not a physical entity or a machine but a scoring system used by the Medical fraternity to arrive at diagnosis and assess prognosis.
An enlightened Scribe from Dainik Jagran Newspaper from Allahabad searched an entire hospital for the Glasgow Coma Scale and couldn’t find it. He had reported that the hospital did not even have the Glasgow Coma Scale necessary to treat patients suffering from serious Neurological disorders.
Subsequently, the Media and Social media have woken up to GCS and so did our Politicians and leaders. Here are some of the selected reactions from eminent people and institutions.
Congress Vice President Rahul Gandhi has promised to buy Glasgow Coma Scales for every hospital in India, if Congress wins 2019 General Elections !
Meanwhile Delhi CM Arvind Kejriwal has declared, “All the Mohalla Clinics in Delhi are already equipped with Glasgow Coma Scales. In fact, some of them have these scales for each beds.”
PM Modi has announced large scale manufacturing of Make in India Glasgow Coma Scales and plans to export them by 2022.
Pinarayi Vijayan has opposed the make in India GCS. He told PTI, “Glasgow Coma Scales are anti-people and anti-minority as they come from Scotland. We prefer Cuba Coma Scales. Cuba has the best health care system in the entire world after our No. 1 State Kerala. We will use CCS.”
Baba Ramdev has released his new commercial in which he tells Indians, “We will not allow foreign companies to dictate terms to India. There will be Patanjali Coma Scales in the market at two thirds of MNC prices. This is our commitment to India. Be Indian and buy Indian.”
NDTV has reported, “836 people including kids have died in Gorakhpur hospitals in UP this year because the hospitals were not equipped with Glasgow Coma Scales.”
A famous BJP troll, followed by the PM has Tweeted, “@NDTV where were you when Congress ruled for 60 years ? You want Modi to solve all problems in 3 years ? Presstitutes”
The Finance Minister Arun Jaitley has put forth a proposal to exempt Make in India Glasgow Coma Scales or GCS from GST.
Staying true to his nature, Vice President Venkaiah Naidu has said, “GCS means Government Continuously Serves. There is no need to panic. All necessary steps will be taken to meet the demand for GCS.”
Karnataka CM Siddaramaiah has sent a team of 8 Ministers, 37 Officials and their family members to Glasgow to study the possibility and feasibility of acquiring new Glasgow Coma Scales. Karnataka Assembly has already sanctioned the bill to install Indira GCS in all States of Karnataka.
Mamta Banerjee’s Minister of Minorities has declared Glasgow Coma Scales as Anti-Muslim. He believes these scales are not Shariah compliant and hence has issued a Fatwah against the use of such machines in India.
Aam Aadmi Party MLA Saurav Bharadwaj has claimed, “The Glasgow Coma Scale works on EVM or Electronic Voting Machine like technology. Hence it can be easily hacked. That way, it can show everyone to be in Coma. We don’t want EVM Coma Scales. We want VVPAT Coma Scales installed everywhere.”
And finally, Mukesh Ambani made the most momentous statement on this regard, “Like voice call, no Indian will ever have to pay for Glasgow Coma Scales in future. The new Jio phones will come with Jio Coma Scale App free for Lyf in our 4G handsets. Jai Hind !”
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*** All the Above things/Above article is meant for entertainment puropose, Helpmedico/Team Helpmedico doesn’t bear any resemblance to any of the above thing.